When Life Renders You Powerless, Challenge Yourself to Do This

Warning: No one said it would be easy. But it is possible with time.

Allison Burney


Photo by Edward Kucherenko on Unsplash

If I’ve learned anything in the past year, it’s that whether we like it or not, a lot of life is out of our control.

We can make plans, we can say vows, we can dream up an amazing future that genuinely makes us giddy inside—and then the unexpected can happen.

Someone can change their mind, or reveal a side to themselves that you don’t recognize, and in the blink of an eye, your whole world can come crashing down all around you. All those plans and dreams and visions of a happy future or a life lived with that one person you thought was “the one” can become obsolete faster than you ever thought possible.

It’s an experience so confusing and so jarring that I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It can leave you feeling like nothing was ever real, like the last seven years of your life were all a lie, a joke. A very, very bad joke at that.

The pain you feel when someone you love leaves you is excruciating.

If you’ve ever had your heart broken, you’re probably intimately aware of what that feels like.

It’s cruel, really. You can’t breathe deeply. You can’t live fully. It’s like you’re stuck in the in-between. Everything you knew and everything you’d counted on has suddenly been stripped away from you, and you had absolutely no say in the matter. All of it was out of your control. It’s like your fate has already been decided for you—by somebody else.

They’ve decided for you that your marriage is over. They’ve decided for you that your life is now going to go in a different direction. They’ve made irrevocable changes to your life without your permission or your input.

When somebody handles a breakup in this way, it’s infuriating. And it can be especially difficult to deal with when you didn’t see it coming. You were blindsided by the news, and the trauma you experience as a result of this event in your life is overwhelming.

At times like this, it can feel like your life is out of your hands.



Allison Burney

Writer, ghostwriter & proofreader. On a mission to keep exploring, learning & enjoying this adventure we call life. Work with me: allisonburney.com